Lithosexuality
Lithsexual · Lithsexuality · Akoisexual · Akoisexuality · Akiosexual
Added 16 Jul 2026 · Updated 22 Aug 2026
Sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum: attraction that a person does not want, or does not need, reciprocated. For some, the attraction itself fades once it is returned. Also called akoisexual.
- Prevalence
- Very rare
- Type
- Sexual orientation
- Group
- Asexual spectrum
- Also known as
- Lithsexual, Lithsexuality, Akoisexual, Akoisexuality, Akiosexual
- Confidence
- Low confidence
- Sources
- 8 cited
- Added
- 16 Jul 2026
- Updated
- 22 Aug 2026
Overview
Lithosexuality is a sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum, describing people who can experience sexual attraction to others but do not want that attraction reciprocated, or who do not need it reciprocated for the attraction to feel meaningful. It is documented as one of several asexual-spectrum microlabels describing attraction more precisely than a simple asexual/allosexual binary, listed alongside demisexuality and graysexuality on reference catalogs of related orientations (Wikipedia). The more common alternate term, akoisexual, is used interchangeably with lithosexual by many, while others treat the two as distinct or prefer one over the other (LGBTQIA+ Wiki).
Accounts vary. Some lithosexual people report discomfort at the idea of attraction being returned; others describe their own attraction simply fading once they learn it is mutual. In both cases the defining feature is not an absence of attraction, as in asexuality generally, but a specific relationship between attraction and reciprocation: attraction that exists on its own terms and does not seek a response (Wikipedia). This distinguishes it from allosexual attraction, where mutual desire is typically sought, and positions it as a companion concept to reciprosexuality, where attraction is felt only once it is already known to be returned.
Mainstream guides that define "asexual" as an umbrella term for people who do not experience sexual attraction, or who experience it only under specific circumstances, situate lithosexuality within that broader ace umbrella rather than as synonymous with asexuality itself (GLAAD). The Human Rights Campaign frames the umbrella similarly, noting asexual people "may experience no, little or conditional sexual attraction", language mapping closely onto lithosexuality, where attraction is present but conditioned on not being returned (HRC). The split attraction model, separating sexual, romantic, and other attraction into distinct axes, supplies the framework within which microlabels like lithosexual are discussed (AVEN).
Examples
Lithosexuality is about what happens to attraction when it is returned, which is a narrower claim than the labels around it.
What the term covers. Sexual attraction that a person does not want reciprocated, or does not need reciprocated for it to feel meaningful; and, in other accounts, attraction that fades once the person learns it is mutual. Both readings circulate under the same label. Attraction is present in either case; that is what places it apart from asexuality proper.
What the term does not cover. Asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction, not a condition on its return. Fraysexuality describes attraction fading as emotional closeness grows, which is a different trigger. Reciprosexuality is the companion concept running the other way (attraction felt only once it is known to be returned), and demisexuality conditions attraction on a bond rather than on reciprocation.
How the word is used. Two prefixes, one meaning. Lith- is from Greek lithos, "stone", attested in Tumblr asexual and aromantic spaces from at least April 2014 with no verified coiner; akoisexual is a contraction of akoinesexual (a- plus Greek koinē, "shared"), coined by the Tumblr user cisphobeofficial on 18 May 2014 and shortened by the same metathesis that produced "sapiosexual". Some people treat the two as synonyms, others as distinct.
History
Lithsexual and lithromantic entered circulation in spring 2014 within Tumblr-based asexual and aromantic community spaces, part of a wider wave of microlabel coinages (demisexual, gray-asexual, cupiosexual among them) produced as the split attraction model matured through the 2000s and 2010s (Wikidata). "Litho-" draws on the Greek lithos ("stone"), evoking attraction that does not shift once returned; the term is attested from at least April 2014, though no individual coiner is verified. Within weeks a rival prefix emerged: on May 18, 2014, Tumblr user cisphobeofficial coined akoinesexual, the negating prefix a- plus Greek koinē ("common," "shared") plus -sexual, soon shortened, via the metathesis that produced "sapiosexual," to the now more common akoisexual (Wiktionary).
The alternative was proposed partly from a concern, raised within parts of the ace and lesbian communities, that "lith-" echoed "stone," a term some lesbians use for not wanting to receive sexual touch; the claim stayed contested, since documentation of "lithsexual" predating its ace-community coinage is thin, and the two prefixes are widely treated today as related but distinct (LGBTQIA+ Wiki). No consensus has settled the naming question; lithsexual, lithosexual, and akoisexual remain used interchangeably. By the 2020s the term had migrated into peer-reviewed research: a 2025 study in Archives of Sexual Behavior drew on the 2020 Ace Community Survey and listed akiosexual/lithsexual among its respondents' reported identities (Chan & Hung, 2025).
Demographics & research
Precise prevalence figures for lithosexuality alone are not available; like most ace-spectrum microlabels, it is too narrow a category for population-representative polling, such as Gallup's LGBTQ identification survey, to break out. The best available figures come from community-recruited surveys of the asexual spectrum itself. In the 2020 Ace Community Survey, analyzed by Chan and Hung in a 2025 paper in Archives of Sexual Behavior, akiosexual/lithsexual was one of several identities (with aceflux, aegosexual, apothisexual, and quoisexual) grouped into an "other identities" category accounting for 2.7% of the survey's 10,419 global respondents, behind asexual (67.3%), graysexual (11.8%), demisexual (10.0%), and those still questioning their placement (8.2%) (Chan & Hung, 2025). Because the label was reported as part of a group, this figure describes several microlabels combined, not lithosexuality alone, and reflects a self-selected sample rather than a general population.
Terminology & related identities
Lithosexuality is most often discussed alongside identities that qualify how or when attraction occurs rather than denying it outright: demisexuality (attraction only after an emotional bond forms) and graysexuality (attraction that is infrequent or otherwise between asexual and allosexual) are the two most commonly cross-referenced (Wikipedia). Its romantic counterpart, lithromantic, applies the pattern to romantic attraction. The antonym in ace-spectrum terminology is reciprosexual, attraction arising only in response to already being desired; a related but distinct pairing is fraysexuality, attraction strongest toward strangers that fades with familiarity, the inverse of demisexual rather than of lithosexual, since it concerns closeness, not reciprocation (Wikipedia). It is also sometimes confused with aegosexuality (interest in sexual content without desire for partnered activity) and apothisexuality (asexuality combined with sex-repulsion), which describe a different relationship to sex. A person may also identify with other labels depending on how their attraction otherwise behaves.
Common misconceptions
A documented misconception, addressed in HRC's overview of the asexual community, is that ace-spectrum identities are "just a phase" resolved once someone "hasn't met the right person yet," or that a particular sexual or romantic experience will change them (HRC). Applied to lithosexuality, this often surfaces as an assumption that reciprocated attraction is an outcome a lithosexual person is working toward, rather than a condition that changes the character of the attraction itself; institutional guidance instead frames patterns like lithosexuality's as a stable orientation, not an unresolved one. A second, related misconception is that everyone on the asexual spectrum experiences an identical, uniform lack of attraction; HRC's definition frames the spectrum as "no, little or conditional sexual attraction," a category lithosexuality falls squarely within.
Common questions
What does lithosexual mean?
Experiencing sexual attraction to others without wanting it reciprocated, or, in the other common account, finding that attraction fades once it is returned. It sits on the asexual spectrum not because attraction is absent but because it stands in an unusual relationship to reciprocation, which is the defining feature rather than the intensity of the attraction itself.
Is lithosexual the same as akoisexual?
For many people, yes: the two circulate as interchangeable names for the same pattern, from different Greek roots coined within weeks of each other in 2014. Others treat them as distinct or simply prefer one. There is no authority settling it, which is typical of micro-labels that grew out of community coinage rather than research.
What is the difference between lithosexual and fraysexual?
What makes the attraction fade. Fraysexuality describes attraction that diminishes as emotional closeness develops; the trigger is intimacy. Lithosexuality describes attraction that is unwanted or fades when reciprocated; the trigger is the other person's response. The two can look similar from outside and are structurally different.
What is reciprosexuality?
The companion concept pointing the opposite way: attraction felt only once a person knows it is already returned. Lithosexual and reciprosexual attraction bracket the same variable (how reciprocation affects desire) from either end, and both sit within the ace-spectrum vocabulary that grew up to describe conditions on attraction rather than its absence.
How common is lithosexuality?
Very thinly documented. Chan and Hung's 2025 analysis in Archives of Sexual Behavior of the 2020 Ace Community Survey (10,419 self-selected ace-spectrum respondents) grouped akiosexual/lithsexual with four other micro-labels into an "other identities" category totalling 2.7% of that sample. That figure covers five labels at once, in a self-selected community sample, so no population estimate follows from it.
AsexualitySexual orientation defined by not experiencing sexual attraction to others, distinct from celibacy, which is a behavioral choice. It exists on a spectrum that includes graysexuality and demisexuality.
GraysexualitySexual orientation on the asexual spectrum for people whose sexual attraction is infrequent, low-intensity, ambiguous, or conditional. It names the "gray area" between asexual and allosexual experience.
AromanticismRomantic orientation describing little or no romantic attraction to others, independent of one's sexual orientation. Aromantic people may still value deep platonic, queerplatonic, or familial bonds.
DemisexualitySexual orientation characterized by the capacity to experience sexual attraction only after forming a close emotional bond with a specific person. It does not arise from initial or immediate impressions.
FraysexualityA sexual orientation on the asexual spectrum in which sexual attraction is directed mainly toward strangers or new acquaintances. It fades as emotional closeness develops, and is often described as the inverse of demisexuality.
From the Ancient Greek lithos ("stone") + sexual. The alternate term akoisexual is a contraction of akoinesexual, the negating prefix a- plus Greek koinē ("common," "shared") plus -sexual, coined by Tumblr user cisphobeofficial on May 18, 2014, and shortened through the same vowel-metathesis pattern seen in "sapiosexual." Lithsexual/lithosexual is attested independently from at least April 2014 within the same online asexual and aromantic community spaces, with no single coiner verified for it.
Prevalence is computed from the entry's cited population estimate. Rows marked ESTare indicative editorial estimates scored against a fixed anchor rubric, not measured quantities. Method & anchors: methodology.
Very rare · fewer than 1 in 10,000
Basis: Chan & Hung (2025), Archives of Sexual Behavior, analyzing the 2020 Ace Community Survey (N=10,419, self-selected ace-spectrum respondents), found akiosexual/lithsexual grouped with four other microlabels (aceflux, aegosexual, apothisexual, quoisexual) into an "other identities" bucket at 2.7% of that ace-identified sample; since this is neither population-representative nor isolates lithosexual alone, the general-adult-population share is derived conservatively downward from that bundled, self-selected figure.
- 01Wikipedia, List of asexual spectrum sexual orientationsBase definition of lithosexual/lithsexual/akoisexual as attraction not wanted reciprocated; its listing among asexual-spectrum microlabels alongside demisexual and graysexual; contrast with reciprosexual and fraysexual.
- 02Wikidata, Lithsexuality (Q97120100)Alternate name forms (lithsexual, akiosexual, akoisexual, aprosexual) and the "litho-" root as the term's naming basis; placement within the broader wave of asexual-spectrum microlabel coinages.
- 03LGBTQIA+ Wiki, LithosexualCommunity-sourced definition and discussion of the lith/akoi naming distinction and preference, including the contested "stone" appropriation concern.
- 04GLAAD Media Reference Guide, LGBTQ termsMainstream definition of "asexual" as an umbrella term, used to frame lithosexuality's place within the broader ace spectrum.
- 05AVEN (Asexual Visibility & Education Network), OverviewThe split attraction model and general asexual-spectrum community framework within which lithosexuality is discussed.
- 06Wiktionary, akiosexualCoining date (May 18, 2014) and coiner (Tumblr user cisphobeofficial) of akoinesexual/akoisexual, and its Greek koinē etymology.
- 07Human Rights Campaign, Understanding the Asexual Community"No, little or conditional sexual attraction" framing of the asexual spectrum; documented misconceptions that ace identities are a phase, a matter of "not meeting the right person," or changeable by experience.
- 08Chan, R. C. H., & Hung, F. N. (2025), Archives of Sexual Behavior2020 Ace Community Survey demographic breakdown (10,419 global respondents) in which akiosexual/lithsexual is listed among "other identities on the asexual spectrum" accounting for 2.7% of respondents.