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Reference · Structures
Relationship structures
15 named ways of arranging romantic and sexual commitment, documented the same way as the rest of KINKSpec: plain clinical definitions, verifiable history, cited sources and the 0–100 popularity index, ranked among structures only. A structure is neither an interest nor an identity. It is how a relationship is arranged, and every prevalence figure here names the survey it comes from.
Prefer a plain list? Every term is also in the A–Z of relationship types.
Umbrella terms1
Broad labels that cover many structures rather than name one.
Monogamous structures2
Exclusive arrangements, and the narrow exceptions some couples negotiate.
Polyamorous structures9
Multiple concurrent romantic relationships, and the shapes they take.
Open structures2
Sexual openness agreed within a couple, without a polyamorous frame.
Non-hierarchical approaches1
Structures that reject a fixed ranking between kinds of relationship.
Common questions
Is polyamory the same as an open relationship?
No, and the difference is where the openness sits. Polyamory means more than one romantic relationship, with emotional commitment to each. An open relationship usually keeps one romantic pair bond and agrees that sex outside it is allowed. Both sit under consensual non-monogamy, which is the umbrella term rather than a structure anyone practises directly.
Is consensual non-monogamy just cheating with extra steps?
Cheating is defined by deception, not by the number of partners. Every structure catalogued here rests on all parties knowing the terms and agreeing to them, which is the whole force of the word consensual. Breaking an agreed rule inside an open arrangement is still a betrayal; having a second partner your partner knows about is not.
Is a relationship structure an orientation?
No. A structure is an arrangement people negotiate and can renegotiate, while an orientation is a pattern of attraction. Someone can be monogamous and bisexual, or polyamorous and straight, without contradiction. That is why this catalogue ranks structures only against each other and never against the orientations or the kink index.
What is the difference between hierarchical and non-hierarchical polyamory?
Whether one relationship formally outranks the others. Hierarchical polyamory names a primary partner who holds priority on decisions, time or living arrangements. Non-hierarchical polyamory refuses that ranking and treats each relationship on its own terms. Relationship anarchy goes further and rejects the idea that romantic ties should outrank friendships at all.
Do the people in these arrangements all have to meet each other?
That is itself the difference between two named styles. Kitchen-table polyamory expects everyone to be comfortable sharing a meal, treating the whole network as one social unit. Parallel polyamory keeps the relationships separate by design, and don't ask, don't tell goes furthest by agreeing not to discuss them at all.